When Motherhood is Hard, Just Maybe God is Doing Something Holy

When Motherhood is Hard, Just Maybe God is Doing Something HolyMotherhood is a mixture of sunshine and thunderstorms. Moments of bright joy and moments of flowing tears. Our children mean everything to us and we would do anything for them. We love them, we protect them, and we make sacrifices for them.

It feels good when the warm sun is shining—when all is well. But it doesn’t always feel so good when the gray clouds roll in—when all is falling apart.

It’s easy to talk about the fun play-dates at the park and the cute things our children do.

But what about the harder moments of motherhood? What about the days when we feel overspent, worn down, and we’ve cried more tears than we’ve consumed actual water?

What about those days? What do we do with those days? Are we complaining if we talk about those days? Are we bad moms for having those days?

The messy moments of motherhood can make us vulnerable to feeling like we are failing moms. We feel guilty when our emotions aren’t rose-colored. We feel shame for experiencing feelings of frustration, sadness, and inadequacy. We are too ashamed to talk about the true rhythms of our hearts, so we stuff our feelings down deep where they boil inside of us.

We measure our worth based on how well behaved our kids are, how well they sleep at night, how well they do in school, how respectful and polite they are, and how many compliments we receive from others about them.

Many of us mamas—we are hard on ourselves. Some days we feel like we are carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders, and we just aren’t meant for that.

Our Creator beautifully wove us together and made us in His Image. And those emotions? He put them in us for a reason. He made us emotional creatures, with a perfect purpose in mind. 

And our identity?

We are Daughters of The King. That is who we are, and we don’t take away from that our add to that.

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Our worth is not one ounce defined by how well we think we measure up as stay-at-home-moms, working moms, wives, and homemakers. Our worth is not defined by who the world says we are. Our worth is not defined by our titles or how many kids we have.

Our worth is in Him. 

When we come face to face with hard moments of motherhood, first we need to acknowledge that hardships are to be expected.

Jesus says,

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. ~ John 16:33 (NIV)

Jesus tells us that we will have hard times and notice what He says directly after…take heart! We tend to think of our hearts as connected with our emotions. So is Jesus telling us to run away from our emotions? No. He’s telling us that there is forever hope in what He did for us, which lifts the burden of our troubles.

He knew there would be times of discouragement in our lives. He cares about our feelings. And He wants us to know that our hearts can always beat with hope no matter how hard our circumstances are.  The key is to stay rooted in Him.

Rather than allowing the hardships of motherhood to keep us in a pit, God wants us to bring our real hearts to Him so He can lift the heavy burden. He can handle our raw emotions.

He can transform the very thing that seems the hardest into something Holy.

He wants us to depend on Him, rely on Him, cling to Him, and rest in Him. He wants to comfort us and heal the broken spaces in us. He wants to show us just how much we are worth to Him—worth dying for. He wants us to remain in Him, so that we remain in hope.

You see mamas, sometimes God allows us to feel the hard because He wants us to feel Him. He wants to hold us. He wants us to know that HE is Who we need the very most. He wants us to know that even when we are at our worst, He loves us just the same.

We are not bad moms for having hard days. We are real moms. Real moms who need a Savior— we all need a Savior.

We don’t need to run away from the difficult days or let them defeat us. Instead, they can be opportunities to develop deeper intimacy with the One who has felt every emotion we will ever feel.

Sometimes coming undone is the start of God mending us back together.

After all, He makes beautiful things out of the dust.

So take heart!

When motherhood is hard, just maybe God is doing something Holy.

blessed...

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hannah

 

 

 

(C) 2014 Pocketful of Motherhood, All rights reserved.

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23 thoughts on “When Motherhood is Hard, Just Maybe God is Doing Something Holy

  1. Hannah, I often seem to catch myself defining my worth based on my mothering skills that day. A bad day equals guilt and condemnation. A good day brings about a sense of pride and accomplishment. However, good day, bad day, I am still worth more than diamonds, for I am His daughter above all else. My husband has been out of town all week and we live no where close to family. I am wiped by today and really needed to hear this. Thank you for being so open to hearing His voice and sharing His heart.

    • Oh Sasha I can only imagine how wiped out you must be with your husband out of town.That would be hard, especially with no family around.Your children are so blessed to have you as Mom. Your love for them always shines brightly through your writing!

      And to know that we are daughters of God, no matter how good or bad the days are…what a comfort at all times.

  2. I love this Hannah! I think my best friend will be greatly encouraged by it so I am going to email the link to her. Thanks for sharing…love your tender and passionate heart!

  3. Just beautiful! I joke around saying, “I always thought I was a good mom until Little Man! He brings out things in me that make me feel like a failure!” Isn’t it good to know that is NOT true! Thanks for the reminder!!!

    • Thanks Bri! You are a wonderful Mom and your kids are so blessed to have you! I know I only know you from afar, but that just shines through you. It can be so hard for us moms to see ourselves as we really are. Motherhood has definitely brought out places in me that make me feel like I’m a failure. BUT I’m so thankful that God always sees us as His beautiful daughters, no matter how good or bad the day! He’s always at work, even in the middle of the messes!

    • Oh Heather, I hear you, but more importantly…He hears you. And He cares so deeply. Every once in a while at random moments of the day, my son will exclaim, “God loves us. We’re His children.” Even when it’s been one of my hardest mommy days, those words comfort me. He’s near, especially when it’s the hardest. And through it all His love remains constant. Sending you hugs and prayers…

  4. What an inspiring post! It spoke to me in so many ways. Thanks for posting this, and also thank you again for your kind words and encouragement left on my latest entry. The healing process becomes so much easier when you know you have people who genuinely care and uphold you spiritually.

    God bless you in all aspects of your life! 🙂

    • Thank you for your kind words! I appreciate you taking the time to come over and read. Thinking of you and your family during this time and am lifting up prayers that God will give you comfort and peace as you look to Him as the great Healer. ❤

  5. I honestly don’t know how to express what I am feeling. This is beautiful. I love how you weave faith and reliance on the Savior into our daily lives as mothers. You are right, our real emotions are part of us, and God loves us how we are. We don’t need to hide our emotions or be ashamed of them. Instead, you are completely right–my emotions bring me to God. My emotions bring me to my knees in prayer. One of my favorite quotes “When life gets too hard to stand, kneel.” My emotions are wonderful, because they keep me grounded in Him. Thank you for this! You have helped me gain greater perspective. What a beautiful blog you have. I will be following 🙂

    • What a true blessing to hear from you today! Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your thoughts. There have been times that I have tried to “control” my emotions, thinking that they just must be bad. But it’s just not true. God created us, every part of us (emotions and all), with great purpose in mind. There is always good behind what God does. Especially when our feelings draw us to the feet of Jesus, it’s a beautiful thing. I love the quote you shared too! Thank you again!
      ❤ Hannah

  6. ” And those emotions? He put them in us for a reason. He made us emotional creatures, with a perfect purpose in mind.” I love this! I always find such encouragement in your posts! 😀

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