Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him,and He will make your paths straight. ~Proverbs 3:5-6
Why is it so hard to trust sometimes?
Hurtful words, damaging actions or disappointing circumstances can leave scars that can hinder our ability to trust—or can lead us to put our trust in the wrongs things. Fear creeps in, faith seems to scary and predictable feels like the best option.The problem is, God never called us to live a “predictable” life.
There was a time in my life when I was chasing predictable and a life of being in-control. I was trying to make sense of my life based off of my limited understanding, rather than trusting in the true source of all wisdom: The Lord.
Genuine trust, involves faith—faith in things that are unseen.
Past wounds made it difficult for me to trust in others, let alone in a God who I could not see. This led me to become an expert at burying my deepest hurts. My muddled perception was that I could handle my problems all by myself. The thought of accepting help from others made me grunge, yet I needed help so desperately.
And then something happened…
It was my first semester away at college. Upcoming finals were heavy on my mind, and I was a little stressed as a result. To make things more confusing, there were some unsettling circumstances going on that stirred up everything in me that I had tried to stuff down for so many years.
I had been running around my problems for so long, rather than facing them. For reasons that only God knows, He chose to use that moment in time to get my attention. I literally could not sleep the night before my first final. During that restless night, God was gently nudging me to stop running away from my problems. As crazy as it might sound, I remember Him giving me a plan for what He wanted me to do. I also remember thinking:
“God this is crazy and this is terrible timing. I’m trying to get rest so I can do well on my finals and now I’m completely sidetracked. I’m doing something good by pursuing a teaching degree…right? Isn’t that good enough? I don’t have time for this. What do you want from me?”
God was offering me an invitation to accept His direction for my life, at what seemed like the most inconvenient time. I had a plan, I knew where I was going and I did not need help…right?
I was terrified to let go of my plans, but God assured me that His plans for me were better.
For the first time in my life, I chose to lean away from my own understanding. I let go of the “predictable” and I stepped out in faith. I put my trust in the Lord and allowed Him to be my guide. That “plan” He gave me, I followed it.
Ever since that time in my life 12 years ago, I have never looked back or regretted my decision to allow God to lead the way. I cried more tears than seemed humanly possible during that time in my life. My problems and pain had kept me in bondage for too long, and it was my time to heal.The Lord was with me every single step of the way, and He showed me the true freedom that comes from trusting in Him.
Everything that I count as a blessing in my life today, directly comes from the grace of God. My amazing husband, my precious son, an amazing community of family and friends, the ability to be a stay-at-home, the way the Lord is showering my little family with so many blessings right now…I just don’t deserve any of it. Yet, I am so grateful to God who so freely gives it all. I give ALL the Glory to Him for creating beauty from the ashes.
Had I not slowed down to stop and listen to God’s prompting all those years ago, I would be walking down a very different road than I am now. I still have struggles, I still experience seasons of pain and there are still days that my heart just aches to be in Heaven with the Lord. However, I believe that God has a purpose for my life and I believe that the more we walk in step with His plan for our lives, the more we experience what true freedom really tastes like.
This world will always have its troubles, but we can always have a peace that passes all understanding if we are willing to take that step of faith and put our trust in the Living God. He has a perfect plan for our lives, and He desires for us to let Him lead the way.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” ~Jeremiah 29:11-13
(C) 2013 Pocketful of Motherhood